I lost my boyfriend to suicide.. it was 4yrs ago March 13th. He had phoned me nearly 40times but i was unable to take his phone calls bc I was at work. I clocked out at my scheduled time, 9pm, and headed from the south side of des moines IA to Indianola IA-only about 15mins away.. on my drive home I was listening to the voicemails he had left me- 8 of them total.. I got to the 7th one and Jacob went on to say, “Don’t ever try to understand why I am doing this bc you wont- just know that I have to. I can’t live another day without drugs and I can’t live another day doing them. I love you baby girl, goodbye……” and the next voicemail was silence. 3 long minutes of silence. Once I arrived home I noticed that my house was dark- all the lights were off except for my living room TV was giving off a bit of light, I vividly remember it flashing thru my front living room window. I unlocked the top lock and then the bottom lock, opened my front door, and there directly in front of me was Jacob. He was on his knees, hanging in my bedroom doorway by my belt. Immediately I ran to his body, which he was positioned at about a 120degree angle, and pushed his body upright to a 90degree angle and the belt came loose from his neck. I tried my hardest to lift him with no success. I screamed out for help, 3 neighbors heard me and came rushing into my house. It took 4 grown adults to lift his body enough to get the belt off from around his neck/ head. They laid his body on the ground, and I began CPR, as the ambulance and police were on their way. 10minutes later- the Indianola police arrived, and I was hysterical by this point so they drug me out of my house and told me I was to sit there outside and wait to be questioned, but was unable to return to my house until they notified me. My door was left cracked open and I heard the cries of one of my neighbors- Stacey. I immediately felt sick at my stomach. I knew that Jacob was gone. Denny and Stacey came walking out of my house both with solemn looks on their faces. I asked Denny, “Is he going to be okay?” And all he could say was, “Don’t know.” Stacey grabbed ahold of me and I crumbled into her arms. Denny opened my door back up enough to tell the officer in charge that I would be at his house waiting to be questioned. Almost 2am they knocked on Dennys door to say, “Jacobs deceased, we have a few bags of evidence we are taking, and you can return home now that it’s no longer a crime scene.” I couldn’t fathom the thought of going.back into that place, it was no longer my home. I had Denny walk me home to grab my jacket, and I left for the night. It didn’t end there- the next day I had a biddy go to my house with me and to our surprise there in my bedroom doorway hung the belt Jacob used to hang himself. Later on that day James, Caleb, and I took the belt out to Lake Aquabi and buried it. This incident caused so much chaos in my life. It’s something I’ll never ever forget. Suicide is like a ripple in a pond, literally affecting everyone around the person who commits suicide.