Our Wonderful Son - Johnathon McHale
When Johnathon came into this world on the 8th October 1996 he was a miracle we were not expecting. Having already had two girls ourselves and him being the 11th born in a line of 10 granddaughters he became so much more special.
Johnathon was a wonderful son and growing up was no hassle at all. He had a great relationship with his older sisters and they doted on him. We endearingly related to Johnathon a The Boy simply because he was our boy, our pride and joy. Johnathon was a quiet child, shy and never one to make a fuss. When he was in school he made a great friend in Josh who was more lively and between the two of them they had a balance, so much so both Mum’s fought to keep them together throughout their classes.
Johnathon wasn’t one for sport although he was a very fast runner and always won his sports day races. We tried him with football as Dad was a keen footballer but Johnathon was not that bothered, he seemed to struggle with attention and much preferred to play on his game consoles.
At the age of 13 Johnathon meet his girlfriend and they stayed together for the next 6 years of his life. Throughout his teens Johnathon did find school difficult and especially hated home work, in fact he would constantly say he never got any. Johnathon did have good group of friends and they would hang out as much as they could when he was not with his girlfriend.
If was when Johnathon left school and started work did he start to create his own independance and moved his girlfriend into our home as she was having problems at home. His sisters had moved out at that point so it was nice to have him at home with the girl he loved and wanted to eventually marry. However as with all relationships he did then spend more time with his girlfriend and less with us and his family.
However it wasn’t until Johnathon was brought home by the police one evening that we found out that he and his friends smoked weed. As parents we went mad and tried to book him into a programme however because he worked 8-6 they said they could not help and that if he wasn’t smoking it at work then he was obviously a low user and would be ok. As a Father I constantly discussed this issue with Johnathon but it fell on deaf ears especially as on the TV and in the press people were fighting to legalise it and said it had benefits. Johnathon always had an argument when it came to weed saying at least i don’t drink or take drugs which is far worse.
Johnathon was a loving teenager, he worked hard at his job and just wanted to be accepted, however sadly some people made this difficult for him because he was young and easy to target. Many would call Johnathon a typical teenager, messy room, moody, not eating well and finding his was in life. However now that we look back trying to unpick what went wrong there are signs we might look too as our guilt of not spotting it grows. However Johnathon had never expressed a will to end his life or ask for help. He was in love with his girlfriend, spent time with his friends, and loved his family. Johnathon was a very loving son and never afraid so show his feelings and loved a cuddle.
Johnathon wanted to join the army but his asthma was stopping that so he was told to try again in a few years. Johnathon said he wanted to make us proud but we told him we were very proud of him, the army wasn’t going to make us any more proud. Our boy was a good looking, fun, witty young man, he was enjoying life or so he told his aunt not long before we lost him. Yes he was shy and lacked confidence around strangers but it was nothing out of the ordinary when you know nothing about suicide.
However the events leading up to our sons death were unusual and clearly became too much to deal with. It was not the events of our son’s upbringing that brought him to this point, yes we believe weed would have played a part but it was the loss of his girlfriend which was the major turning point. Being betrayed and made a fool of made us angry so we knew our son was hurting, what we didn’t expect was the outcome based on a 4 day string of events and evening of added pressure no person should have to endure.
After loosing our son Johnathon on 7th January 2016 we have struggled to come to terms with it and our lives have changed for ever. We are no longer the parents we were and our family are still living with the after affects of our loss. It is said the more you love the more you grieve and we loved our son dearly. We miss him every day and are not only trying to deal with the loss but also the destruction others inflicted on his body.
Our son Johnathon meant the world to us, he was just starting to save money and had started new job. He was planning a future and now he is gone for ever and all those wonderful things he would have achieved like buying a car, getting his own place, getting married and having children are all gone. I medium told my wife he regretted it the moment he jumped and we honestly believe that. He may have wanted to die at that minute but he certainly didn’t want to die forever.
We are all missing our son.
John & Debbie McHale
